


its like were falling in love

by avianmalware



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Comfort, M/M, idk if i proofread this have fun, pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 16:07:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11360883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avianmalware/pseuds/avianmalware
Summary: Ryuji hasn't been doing great these past few days, and Akira uses this as a time to recount every reason he fell in love with him.





	its like were falling in love

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys im not dead just procrastinating heavily cause its summer....this has been sitting in my docs for weeks cause im too lazy to post it lmao. i swear i have a multi chap in the works too im just...very slow, but anyways enjoy these two boys for now

Ryuji had been acting rather strange lately. The rest of the Phantom Thieves hadn’t caught on yet, but Akira knew, he could see it each time they went to Mementos. 

Even with spells, items, or Futaba’s support, Ryuji hadn’t been dodging a lot of hits. Always said he was just tired, but insisted to continue to fight. It had gotten so bad that Akira had to reluctantly take him off the team the last couple days, too worried about the eventual consequences. 

Everyone has their off days, everyone misses, they were human after all. But nobody stares at the enemy straight in the eye, sees the hit coming towards them, and just lets it happen. Nobody tenses up and  _ braces _ for it when they know they can move out of the way. He would take each scolding from the team, slump his shoulders and avert his eyes, but always come out with a nonchalant answer for everything. It stung each time, made himself tense up at the words, at the hit, everything Ryuji just kept taking for no reason. He just wanted to hold him tight and close, to protect him from whatever was going on.

But he kept deflecting everything. His questions, his stares, his touch. He was lucky that he was able to convince him to stay the night at LeBlanc, but he kept his distance. It was so unlike Ryuji. He always came to him about everything, always spoke his mind to him whenever he got the chance. Akira knew he trusted him, but there had to be something going on, something that he couldn’t let even his own boyfriend know. 

Unfortunately for him, Ryuji’s feelings were as plain and obvious as his hair. It was one thing the former track star couldn't run from, as much as he tried to. But Akira would wait. He would always wait. Wait for him to stop running away, wait for it to stop hurting so much that’d he'd finally say it. He'd be there for him with open arms and gentle words, comfort he knew he rarely had. 

It’s why he moved closer to him on the bed, slowly and carefully, as if he would run away if he moved too fast. He was hunched up in the corner of the bed, knees to his face, and eyes at the TV. It was quiet, aside from the soft voices coming from the screen and the heater that hummed. Too quiet. Almost suffocating. Akira wasn’t the type to speak much, and always found peace in solitude, but right now every second made him burn. He wasn't used to not hearing Ryuji’s laughter fill up the room, he wasn't used to not hearing his booming voice that filled his heart with awe, he wasn't used to the movement that closed in rather than draw out. 

He's seen it happen before though. For such a loud person he knew how to make himself small, how to make himself unnoticeable. How he always curled inwards when he wasn't feeling well, or when he couldn't keep eye contact with anyone. He'd always take the hit rather than try to avoid it. He had a mouth on him sure, but beneath all that he was fragile, he was only a teenager. He could only be so strong. 

He took a moment to just eye at him, trying to meticulously plan out each action so that Ryuji wouldn't push away. He already knew a bit about what caused him so much pain, but he wanted to know more. He didn't have enough to mend the years of trauma he had endured, he didn't think he ever would, but he wanted to at least alleviate it. He wanted Ryuji not to take everything on for the sake of everyone for once, to lessen the load that weighed on his shoulders. He had always put everyone else's problems before his, always made sure they were doing okay, but along the line he forgot to see if he was too. He was more than happy doing so. 

Rotten kid. He remembered when he said it, that phrase sounded sickly sweet and it rolled out of his tongue with ease. He had become accustomed to it, wore it like a badge like every other insulting name given to him. But he could see where it pierced. He remembered the silence that came after it. The hard swallow and the clenched fists. Akira didn't know what to say then, just squeezed his hand. It wasn't enough. He deserved more. Deserved better.

He took his hand in his and pulled it up, planting small kisses on each knuckle. Ryuji had flinched slightly, but let it happen, idly watching him. 

Another soft kiss, before he slowly made his way up his arm, choosing to rest his hand on his shoulder. He flicked his eyes back up at him, his brown eyes didn't carry the same amount of warmth it usually did. “You know that I love you, right?”

It was no use, he just murmured something incoherent in reply, jerking his shoulder away from him. It was almost as if he was trying to disappear right in front of him, moving further into the corner. It earned him a small frown, but he leaned a bit closer, he had to keep trying. 

Ryuji was known for his gruff and stubborn attitude, but it was something that he had grown fond of. As unusual as it sounded, he considered it an endearing trait. He didn’t know how to back down; He had been fighting his entire life he couldn’t learn how to. But it was like he was filled with boundless energy and confidence that allowed him to do whatever he wanted. Nothing could ever stand in his way once he set his mind on it. He had to put up a brave face if he wanted to survive, and Akira admired that. But also pitied him, it was a shame he had to put up a front. Had to be strong in front of everyone else, had to look like nothing bothered him. It only put a wall up in between them, his fear to show weakness. If only Akira could get  _ closer _ .

“I want the best for you, you know.” He paused. “You can tell me anything alright? I won’t judge you.” 

He was just quiet for a while, eyebrows knitted and eyes narrowed, like he was debating whether or not he should say anything. He soon let out a heavy sigh and hugged his legs tighter, while speaking behind his knees, “What if...I dunno, I’m not  _ your _ best.” 

“Ryuji…” He looked over at him, too taken aback to come up with a real answer. He had been staring at him the entire time, biting his lip, eyes wide and pleading. It was like a slow stab to his chest, one that didn’t allow him to move. It was disheartening to hear, and only added onto to the severity of the situation. He knew of his self esteem issues, but he didn’t think it was this bad. He never realize how easily it could have seeped into their relationship. He tried so hard to show otherwise.

“Do you know why I fell in love with you?” 

“I doubt anythin’ special…” He only smiled softly at him. There were countless reasons. His laugh, his smile, his hair, his compassion and kindness. How he was so gentle...Despite being called vulgar. How he never had any ill intentions, only wanted the best for everyone. 

He hummed, “Don’t be so hard on yourself. But first off,” He placed his hand on his face, gently caressing his cheek, slowly moving down to his jawline. “You’re kinda cute. Scratch that,  _ really _ cute.” 

“ _ Akira, _ ” He grumbled, but didn’t pull back from the touch this time. His face warmed up, and a slight pink flushed on his face. Akira chuckled softly. 

“But seriously. When we first met...I knew you were going to change my life. You might think otherwise but, you saved me y’know?” He let out a small breath, and a smile tugged at his lips. “I’m going to be honest, I was lost when I became a “criminal,” my friends back home didn’t even want to talk to me anymore. And regardless, life was rather boring before I met you.” 

It was true, life almost felt hopeless after that incident had happened. He was directionless because he had no place he belonged to, now that everyone left him. Everything had almost felt pointless, and he had already grown tired of life. There was nothing new, nothing exciting. But then came along Ryuji, this shining ray of sunshine, pulling him out of the depression he found himself in. He didn’t know what he did to deserve such a gift. He was just grateful that he did, he didn’t want to think about what would’ve happened if he didn’t.

He could see Ryuji smile just a little bit at the remark too, before quickly regaining that sorrowful expression of his. “All I do is get people hurt. You saw the track team...My mom...Don’t want you t’be next.” 

“And I won’t be. Even if I was...That wouldn’t drive me away. None of those were your fault, okay? C’mere..,” He cooed, extending a free arm out towards him. It didn’t even take a second for him to end up in his arms, the sheer force from it almost toppled him over. He held onto his back tightly, face buried in his chest while he could feel wetness pool up on his shirt. He was glad to see this side of him, as sad as it was, he wouldn’t trade it for anything. This level of trust, of softness, being able to peel back that strong exterior to see the real him was all he ever wanted. He hummed again, combing a hand through his hair. He placed a kiss on his head and took a deep breath, he always faintly smelled like flowers or cinnamon, it was almost addicting. 

“None of those were ever you fault,” He quietly repeated, turning to rub circles into his back. “You’d never purposely hurt someone, not unless they deserved it, really you’re too kind sometimes...But that’s what I love about you. You have so much good in your heart.” He only heard hiccuped laughter in response. 

“God, did I mention you’re like. Really cute? It was hard for me  _ not _ to be so obviously infatuated with you with how you act and what you say. You’re like this walking, giddy ray of sunshine.” He pulled away a bit, sniffling and rubbing at his eyes. He groaned, but Akira could see the wide grin on his face, “You’re so effin’ sappy Akira.” 

“And that’s why you love me, huh?” He laughed and looked down at him. He was snotty, teary eyed, and red-faced but god, he loved him. He was so beautiful, a beaming light that never dimmed, not even in his saddest moments. He remembered each time his heart skipped a beat when he saw him, or when it fluttered when he heard that loud laughter of his. His eyes were the real showstopper, they were so expressive, but also warm and welcoming. He was amazed that he never got caught staring by the guy himself, but he wasn’t the sharpest guy around. Absolutely dense actually, it was adorable.

He rolled his eyes at him, “Uh, sorry ‘bout all that by the way.” He gestured towards the big, wet circle on his shirt, before rubbing his neck and sheepishly lowering his eyes. He smiled at him, cupping his face in his hands and shaking his head. He didn’t need to be sorry, not for anything. He hoped one day he’ll realize that. That he’ll finally be comfortable being himself again. He’d wait for that day to come and he’d be so, so proud. But for now, he’d just guide him along the right path until he could regain that confidence and strength again. 

He leaned in and kissed him. Salty but sweet, and it only filled him with even more love.  


End file.
